Friday, January 14, 2011

Self Defense.

Do you need a better way to move your cattle?  Is your produce getting uppity?  Ever feel like just smashing the heck out of a whiffle ball?  If you answered yes to one or more of those questions, the Sjambok is perfect for you!

The part that actually made me laugh out loud was when he threw on his sweat shorts and really went after those whiffle balls.  He even broke one in half! Those eggs never stood a chance.  And thats pretty much how I decide if a product is good for self defense or not.  I see if it can break a tomato.  Some other items that also meet the unreasonably high standards of the sjambok are:

-my belt
-a key
-pretty much any stick
-a can
-a forceful karate chop
-uncooked spaghetti
-a sturdy pinecone
-most jewelry
-a dvd case
-a coat hanger
-a rolled up magazine (roll it tight...or not.  I'm not sure it really matters)
-the box a sjambok was shipped in
-any decent plunger

It's good to know that I have so many options to defend myself with.  You know, just in case I really feel like whipping the crap out of a watermelon.  Which is pretty much every day.


  1. Kind of looks like some grown men looking for an excuse to play some tee-ball.....