Sunday, January 30, 2011

Best Movie I've Never Seen.

I'm sure at least some of you remember a classic movie called '3 Ninjas'.  It's a gripping tale that tells the story of 3 young white "ninjas" named Rocky, Colt, and Tum-Tum (you most likely hated Tum-Tum, I know I did).  You might even remember its sequel '3 Ninjas Kick Back'.  A die hard fan might even know about the third movie of the series '3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain' which also starred the mighty Hulk Hogan.  I myself have seen almost two of these movies (all of the first one and about half of the other two).  But not even I knew about the existence of a FOURTH 3 Ninjas movie, '3 Ninjas Knuckle Up'.  I haven't ever watched a single scene from Knuckle Up, but the synopsis alone was enough for me to award it "Best Movie I've Never Seen":

In this movie Rocky, Colt and TumTum must battle an evil wealthy toxic waste dumper in order to save a local Indian tribe and their friend Joe. The 3 Ninjas must help find Joe's father and find a secret disk that contains evidence that could stop the toxic landfill that is destroying the Indian community. However the town is owned by the rich man and he controls the police and even the mayor. They must fight a motorcycle gang and renegade cowboys in this non-stop ninja adventure.
This movie has everything!  It's got ninjas, cowboys, motorcycle gangs, a guy named Joe, indians, toxic dumpers, corrupt politicians, missing fathers, etc.!  The ninja adventure found in this movie literally does not stop.  I'm honestly not sure if I'll ever get to see this cinematic gem, mostly because I doubt you can rent it anymore and I refuse to pay real money to own it.  It might always be known in my heart as the 'Best Movie I've Never Seen.'

Interesting side note: The previous winner of the "Best Movie I've Never Seen" award used to be 'Kazaam' starring Shaquille O'Neal.  But then I actually watched it.  And it immediately joined my "10 Worst Movies I've Ever Forced Myself to Sit Through" list, which will forever be headed by 'Twister' starring Bill Paxton.


  1. But have you seen Mega Python vs. Gateroid?! Because I HAVE now. Worse than Twister. By far.

  2. That was on yesterday and I totally forgot to watch it!! Those syfy movies are the best and belong in their own category in my mind. I laughed harder at Mega Piranha than I did at any legitimate comedy to come out in the last year.