Friday, April 22, 2011

Graduation Day.

With a post title like that you would expect me to write about how I graduate (kind of) college later today, wouldn't you?  You might expect me to write about how much I've loved BYU and all the great friends and experiences I'e had here.  You might expect me to write about besides the two years I spent on a mission, my years at BYU have been the happiest of my life.  You might expect me to write about all of that (and its all true btw), but you would be wrong.  Because today is also Friday.  And I gotta get down on Friday.  Except this weak I'll be treating everyone to the Bob Dylan Remix.  Enjoy.

Everyone hates on Rebeccah Black for how bad this song is, but as it turns out she just took it from Bob Dylan.  So blame/praise him for it.  And now I have to go look forward to the weekend.  And graduate.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Hardest Game Ever.

I found this online flash game called QWOP.  It is literally the most challenging experience of my life.  The game tells the story of an aspiring olympic sprinter.  For some reason he needs you to control his legs using your keyboard.  Follow the link and try and help him...if you dare.


My personal best is 2.6 meters.  If ANYONE can beat that, post the score as a comment and you win a prize.  The prize may be a cruise to the Carribean...or it may be a drawing I did last weak of a bear.  The possibilities are endless, and the only way to find out is to somehow magically get that runner past 2.6.  Good luck, you will need it.  Also, I graduate college (kind of) tomorrow so that is fun.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Friday Remix.

I have at least 3 ideas of things I could have posted today that didn't have anything to do with Friday, but that just didn't feel right.  I had to make my mind up, which video can I post?  So here is a little twist to the original as it is performed by Stephen Colbert with some special guests:

And now we can all enjoy our weekend...yeah.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I Want One!!

I used to think that shooting machetes from a slingshot rifle was impossible.  Not any more!!

I graduate college later this month, and this is what I want as a gift!  My brother said I should just build my own, which is fine, but I've never been known for my engineering skills.  Some people use guns or baseball bats to protect themselves from home invasion, but can you imagine breaking into a house only to find that machete gun staring back at you?  Anything within four feet of me would totally get stabbed.  Let's just forget about the fact that the inventor almost cut his arm off while making it.  That's not really important.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Friday II.

I'm so stoked about Friday this week, I really had no choice of the video I posted today.  In a rare Time to Waste move, "Friday" is getting re-posted.  Because I gotta get down.

I actually know some people who are offended by how bad this song is, but they just don't know what fun is. Or how to get down.  And I doubt they could EVER make up their mind of which seat they could take.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Saddest Picture in the Whole World.

If you don't speak spanish, than just follow along with the subtitles.  Be warned though, this will make you cry.

It's actually one of my new goals to find a picture exactly like that one and put it up in my apartment.  I think it would go well with the other art I've been curating:  A signed photograph of Marie Osmond, a Dominican flag, a "Ifyourenotfirstyourelastshakeandbakebaby" picture, and one giant velvet painting of a very sad Indian Chief.  All great pieces of art, even though I'm pretty sure the last one is haunted.  Not even kidding.

Saturday, April 2, 2011


This has been one of my favorite videos for a long time now:

DANGIT!!  Since I don't have a son to kill in a game of wii sports, my sunshine is general conference!  Which is starting right now!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Johnny Appleseed.

Random thought/rant of the day: I'm willing to bet that Johnny Appleseed was a total jerk.  While talking to my roommate yesterday about historical figures we would most likely be able to kill in a fight, my choice was Johnny Appleseed.  I just imagine him to be a total hippie, and not the good kind of hippie either.  The shoeless, poor hygiene type of hippie that no one is glad to see walk into town.  And who wanders around their entire life planting apples?  NO ONE likes apples that much.  I bet he wandered around so much not for his love of apples, but because he had no friends and was constantly getting kicked out of towns for being really stupid.  I guess I imagine him as the Jersey Shore of the early 1800s.  If I were to write up an imaginary dialogue of Johnny Appleseed entering a town bar, it would go something like this:

Bartender: Oh crap, here comes that jerk Johnny Appleseed.  Close the doors and turn off the candles.  Pretend like we're closed.

Townsperson: Oh no its too late.  He's already here.

Johnny Appleseed: Whats up nerds!?  Guess who's back?

Bartender: *sigh*

Johnny: I just walked 400 miles in two days planting like 20,000 apple trees along the way.  I'm not tired though.  Prolly cuz I do so many power squats every morning.  I'll have to show you guys later, its super awesome.

Bartender: Please don't.

Johnny: So anyways while I was traveling I stumbled upon a bear cub stuck up in a giant redwood tree.  I climbed up there and carried it back down on my back.  We ate apples together for over an hour.  It was magical.

Bartender: ............

Johnny: I then taught some indians how to ford rivers using only a single deer skin and later fought a puma with my bear hands.  The indians were so impressed they tried to make me marry their princess and worship me as their Chief.

Bartender:  I'm pretty sure none of that actually happened.

Johnny:  Whatever.  You're just jealous I hooked up with like 90 different indian princesses and you've been stuck in this crappy town your whole life.  Hey, wanna trade me some moonshine in exchange for this whole bag of apples?

Bartender:  No one likes your apples.

Johnny: Whatever nerd.

Bartender:  Please leave.


And thats pretty much how I imagine Johnny Appleseed lived his entire life.  He was that guy that everyone hated.  And he deserved it. And I'm pretty sure I could take him in a fight.